So whether I'm thinking about what to wear tomorrow (yes, this even includes sweats)...my mind is constantly analyzing, or reviewing something. Its gets old. I want to shut my brain down and tell it to chill, and just enjoy the ride. I talk a big game about "enjoying the ride" but when it gets down to it...I'm kind of a big stress bucket.
Why am I blogging about this you ask? Well here's why.
I've always had what I would like to call low self-esteem. Always second guessing myself, comparing myself to others, yada yada. We don't need to get into the torrid details, but let's just call it what it is. Its NO ONES fault, so Mom if you are reading this, don't worry...you don't need to get your guilty Mom cloak on.
So the other day I was thinking about my low self-esteem as I read someones family blog of perfection. This didn't help my mood, but got me to thinking.
I started thinking about pioneer women. No internet, no phones, no texting, no mail really. As they trudged across the plains and dealt with the heartache and journey that was in front on them...do you think they had low self-esteem? Did they compare their bread making skills with someone else, or the way their family was choosing to not read the scriptures that night, or were they secure in who they were and didn't care what anyone thought? From an LDS perspective, were they so secure in the faithful testimonies they had that self-worth/self-esteem was trivial if thought about at all?
My point in this rant, is just a wonder if technology (while a great thing) has eaten away at some of our self-esteem? Do you worry that someone is mad if you don't get a text back from them? Does it bother you if you don't get an email from someone? Or if you read a blog that has images from a family that portrays them as perfect, does it bother you? There just seems to be alot of mediums that you can get rejected from....or at least feel rejection.
Ok, maybe its just me.
9 comments:
I stopped blog hopping for that reason -- I'd start comparing myself to these ladies I didn't even know. Now I try to stick to the friends blogs and a few others and fugly. Then I don't get too crazy weird about my life. I torture myself enough without the help of technology. I do like your point.
I don't think you are alone in the comparing. I have heard lots of people talk about the "comparative reality" of looking at others blogs and how it makes them feel less-than.
I just have to remember that some people like to show only the good on their blogs (even feel guilty if they whine or complain etc). This isn't reality. Everyone has crappy days. Even the person that looks like they live the dream.
When I am having a down day and start comparing I have to tell myself to not internalize or I know it is a down hill spiral.
You know too well I how feel about this topic. ;)
I'm sure there are people doing research and Psychology studies on this very thing right now.
And Marie, you are way too amazing to have such low self-esteem! Seriously!
Like Paige, I stopped reading blogs except my dear friends. It just isn't worth my time. But, I know what you mean... it's easy to compare your worst with someone else's best. I just remind myself that it's just what they chose to write about... just their telephone voice... everyone has the same ups and downs. No one is perfect.
I loved Pres Ukdorf's (sp?) talk that talked about loving ourselves. So important!
I second Donna, you are amazing.
Its not just you....dont worry.I often dont feel as though I am doing a good job, and stop and question why I am having another child if I dont do the best with the one I have....we all do our best, I personally think you are wonderful, amazing and stunninly beautiful!!! We all love you!
thanks for the nice compliments friends...(not the reason I wrote this BTW, but much appreciated)
I was just thinking a lot about technology and its impact on our self worth.
It's not just you-totally not just you. I sometimes wish I could go back to simpler times where I wasn't inundated (sp?) with images of who I should be that remind me of what I'm not. Of course I could get off the internet and stop reading blogs/facebook pages/etc...so it's partly my fault too. But mostly I blame technology :)
Not just you, friend. Feel it myself all the time. Love you! And remember, the "perfection" on the outside just hides the crazy inside. :)
AMEN!!
let's just give ourselves a break!
that's why i quit my magazines and another reason why i don't miss tv.
let's start a movement! =)
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